A Familiar Face
by Si1verwing
Summary: **ON HIATUS, UNDER RECONSTRUCTION**
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Bill

Sib's POV

I was waiting, waiting for Bitters to fall into drone mode. Right now she was just blathering on about how squirrels aren't important to politics, which is actually true. But when she starts repeating stuff like a scratched record, that's when I know she's in drone mode. A full scale riot—with pitchforks and torches and the whole enchilada—could break out under her nose and she would still plow on with her lecture.

"Have squirrels ever become senators? No! Have squirrels ever become president? No! Have squirrels ever become president? No! Have squirrels ever become president? No!" Bitters says. Yessss. Time to get Dib. I turn to say something. And...he's asleep. Out like a light.

"DIB!" I hiss.

He jerks awake and turns to me.

"Bigfoot! You shrunk," he says, confused.

I roll my eyes.

"Bitters is in drone mode. Let's get Fae and Z and blow this pop stand! I'm hungry!" I say, jumping up. I run over to the first row and run to the end, smacking Zim in the head as I pass.

"_Filthy human meat worm! You dare smack the mighty head of Ziiiiiiiim?!_" he shrieks.

I just ignore him and get Fae and Z.

"Finally!" says Fae. "I thought she would never drone!"

"C'mon, let's get outta here," says Z.

"Um, hello, forgetting somebody?"

It was Gem, my best friend! I can't believe I forgot about Gem! She's Irken, but I don't care. The only reason I hate Zim is because he keeps trying to take over the world (to no avail, thanks to us) and kill me and Dib. Gem isn't evil, she's just in hiding. A long time ago, she nearly destroyed all Irken planets (Irk, Devastis, Foodcourtia, and Conventia) in a single huge accident. Millions of Irken lives were lost, so when the dust settled on Devastis, where the wreckage was worst, and Gem was found in the middle of it, miraculously unharmed, everyone accused her and she was charged with the biggest crime in an Irken millennium and sentenced to execution. She escaped, and took her Voot runner as far away from Irk as she could get. She stumbled upon Earth, and so here she is.

Gem's POV

"Hi Gem!" says Sib.

"Hello Sib," I say. "Fae, Z, Dib. NOW let's get out of here."

We walk back up the aisle. We're barely out the door when that obnoxious Hall Monitor demands to see our hall passes.

"You didn't see ANYTHING," says Sib, giving him a look that plainly says "Keep quiet if you enjoy having a properly arranged face."

The kid gives Sib a scared look and backs away. She tends to have that effect on people.

"So, we hit MacMeatie's, then?" asks Dib.

"Sounds like a plan to me," says Z.

"To MacMeatie's!" I say.

Z's POV

On the way to MacMeatie's, Sib and Dib come up with new ways to expose Zim as an alien, with lots of...detailed, shall I say, descriptions of his autopsy. I wish they would stop being so mean to my Zimmy! Gem, Fae, and I exchange stories of how we got on Earth and talk about how different everything is here from Irk. When we get to the restaurant, a pimply teenager takes our orders. We all get Quarter Porkies with cheese and Sucks, and, like almost all couples, Dib and Sib share a Chocolate Bubblegum Suck.

"That is so sappy," I say.

"You should talk, Miss Oh-I-Wish-Zim-Would-Share-a-Suck-With-Me," Sib retorts.

"Touché," I say.

"Which, frankly, I don't get at _all_," says Dib. "What do you see in him, anyways?"

"He's hot!" I reply. "What _don't_ I see in him?"

"Eh, beauty is in the eye of the beholder," says Gem.

Then, at that moment, some tall dude in sunglasses and a trench coat barges in holding some crazy contraption.

"Good Lord, not him!" Sib says loudly.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Return of the Jerk

Dib's POV

Why is _he_ here? I thought we'd had enough of this idiot amateur! I wonder how he even got to be a paranormal investigator in the first place, he doesn't even believe in Bigfoot!

"No, not him, anyone but him, he's a _moron_. Dib and I had enough of him on Career Day, he's the _last_ person we want to see ever _again_," groans Sib.

"Who is he?" Fae asks.

"_Bill_," I answer.

"Who's '_Bill_'," asks Gem.

"A pathetic disgrace to paranormal investigators everywhere," Sib snaps.

"She's right," I say. "He's too busy chasing after cereal mascots to realize there's an alien right under his nose!"

"Numerous aliens, actually," says Z, grinning. "But you wouldn't turn us in, would you?"

"Of course not," I say. "You guys are Sib's friends, and you're all pretty nice to me. Well, except for Fae, she hates me."

"Yes, I most certainly _do_," says Fae, glaring at me. "So why is it so terrible that he's here?"

"Because," says Sib thickly, having just taken a big bite of her burger, "he's the world's biggest _git_, and he's got some huge machine with him, which is most definitely part of some convoluted scheme to catch Frankenchokey or Cocofang or somebody that's probably going to wind up getting us all blown up."

Fae's POV

Oh, so _this_ is the Bill that's on Sib's mile-and-a-half long list of enemies. And now I know why.

"Well okay then," I say.

"Well," says Gem, "well, maybe he's not using it here. Maybe he was on his way to wherever he's using it, and then he realized that he was really hungry, and he suddenly got a really big craving for a cheeseburger. So he stopped here for some lunch, and he had to take it with him because it won't fit in his car."

We're all staring at her.

"What?" asks Gem. "It is possible!"

"There are so many things wrong with what you just said," I say.

"Yeah," says Z. "If it won't fit in his car, how did he get it here?"

"Yeah _that's_ the only thing wrong with that statement," says Sib, rolling her eyes.

Sib's POV

I'm about to ask if anybody else has an insane hypothesis when the door opens and a girl and a boy walk in. The girl with black eyes and brown bangs, the boy with hazel eyes and light brown hair.

"Hey Heidi! Nobnard!" I flag them down and they join us.

"Hey Sib," says Heidi, sitting next to me. "Dib, Z, rest of you."

"Hiya people," says Nobnard, sitting next to Gem, as far away from Dib as possible. I think he and Fae would get along very nicely.

"This is probably a stupid question," says Heidi, stealing one of my fries, "but has anyone noticed that Bill is here with another strange and probably unstable gizmo?"

"Yes, we have," says Gem. "I told them my hypothesis as to why he is here and they're harshing my buzz."

Nobnard laughs.

"Hey," says a voice we do not recognize. We look around and try to find who spoke. "Hey," says the voice again, and this time we find the speaker. It's the zit-faced dude who took our order. "Do you guys mind if I take a break and leave you all alone in the restaurant because I'm a really bad employee?"

We all look at each other.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," says Nobnard, and the cashier walks out the door, hops on his bike, and leaves. That's when Bill comes toward us. With his huge machine. Oh, great. He scans us all with the machine, then leans in close to us.

"Have any of you kids seen a Vorsh-I mean, a vampire that goes by the name 'Cocofang'?" he asks.

Of course this is about Cocofang. We all look at each other again.

"Oh, look at the time," says Z, looking at her wrist where a watch would be if she were wearing one, "we've got to go."

We all get up and pick up our bags, murmuring in agreement with Z.

I've just picked up my handbag when a blinding yellow-green light suddenly flashes on, and I can't move. I can't grunt. I can't even move my eyes. I am completely paralyzed.

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Onto the Spaceship

Heidi's POV

Why can't I move? How long will I stay like this? I can't move my eyes, but Dib is in my peripheral vision and I can tell he can't move either. Okay, so I know this is affecting the humans too. Are we going to stay like this forever?

Apparently not. We're moving. But we're not doing it on our own; something seems to be making us move. We're walking towards the door. The door opens by itself, and we walk through it. We gather in the middle of the street and form a line. I am right behind Bill, who is first. He lifts up into the air and out of sight. I step forward to take his place, and I, too, float up in the air, and onto, as it seems, a spaceship, and I can immediately move again. Someone in a suit and helmet scans me with a handheld. A robotic voice says: "Given name: Heidi; Surname: unknown; Age: fifteen Earth years; Race: Irken."

I am immediately imprisoned in a glass box and stripped of my disguise. I start shouting.

"What's going on? Who are you?! Let me go!" I try blasting through the glass with my PAK, but it doesn't even make a scratch.

Fae is up next, and I scream and bang on the glass to try and warn her, but she doesn't even turn around. She is trapped in the cell with me, and her reaction is the same as mine. It's Nobnard's turn, and she pounds the glass.

"Don't bother," I tell her. "I tried the same thing with you. The glass is soundproof."

Fae's POV

We're forced to sit and watch as this happens over and over, to Nobnard, to Gem, to Z, Sib, Dib.

Sib takes out her vault pole and starts pounding the glass.

"Don't," I say. "Heidi and I both tried to blast it down, and, as you can see, nothing happened."

Sib relents, pushes a button on her pole, making it collapse, and stashes it back in her coat.

"Oy," she snaps in the direction of our captors, "can we at least know who captured us? And why?"

I'm about to tell her it's soundproof when, surprisingly, one of the suited people takes its helmet off.

Oh, hell.

TO BE CONTINUED...


End file.
